This post was written for Healthy Narcissism Month

Let me take out my phone so I can remember this moment.

I got nine hours of glorious beauty sleep last night and I’m liking where my face is going with this.

I’m glowing. Seriously, look at me.

Just a second while I snap myself so you can see what I’m talking about.

Shit.

What is this? Is this what I look like right now?

Am I imagining things? Where is my glow? What’s wrong with me? What happened to my face? Seriously, this is not what I look like! I look better than this. I’m not giving up!

Let me try a different angle. (Or 50).

It will only take a moment. (Or 50).

Okay I think I have something I can work with, now let’s explore the filters. Just a quick edit and I’m done. (It’s art, leave me alone.)

I think I’m happy with it. Post it. Done. Phew, I’ve accomplished the art of the selfie today. (What have YOU done for yourself?) I’m also drained, depleted and I’m still obsessing that the selfie I posted was not perfect enough.

But sometimes my picture doesn’t open the door to hell. Yes, sometimes I’m pleased and proud and feeling artsy and creative. Too bad I never know in advance where I will be by the time I’m done.

Which is why it has to be a healthy selfie or nothing.

(By the way, I was recently shocked to find out that there are people who NEVER take selfies. Yes! Did you know that? I shouldn’t be surprised because the selfie is inherently the most unflattering photo of you. That’s why it needs so much work…)

I go to my healthy-selfie-or-nothing strategy when I’m not prepared to face any potential negative effects of selfie taking, including the time-sucking machine that it is.

It’s so easy and so liberating not to mention empowering and I love that it owns significant real estate in my selfie repertoire.

In a pleasing moment I pull out my phone but I only take one or two photos and then post, or just savor the shot without posting (yes, that happens too).

If I instantly become possessed with a bad thought about myself, anywhere from “shit I look bad” to “who IS that?!” to “let me fix that by taking a 150 more shots,” it’s a sign for me to DELETE these one or two shots, PUT THE PHONE AWAY and go about my business. I save so much time, energy, self-doubt and hurtful self-judgment (it’s never only about the looks, you know…).

It’s a simple formula that saves me from myself when I can’t be my own best friend.

One easy step brings me one step closer to being my best best friend. A win-win.