10 Facebook Happy Birthday Wishes and What Your Choice Says About You

Here’s my vain and naked truth. I came up with idea for this post while staring at my Facebook wall on my birthday. I’ll take this confession further and tell you I was in the middle of counting when the idea came to me.

We’ve all been there and we’ll continue to be there for as long as Facebook graces our lives. Most of the time we are the wishers but once a year we are the wish-ees.

We count how many Facebook wishes we got and the next day we thank the world for thinking of us on our special day, and how it made us feel like the luckiest person in the world…But let’s be honest, do we feel equally special with a HB and an elaborate rhyming poem?

And do we dare to dream that the wishes were bestowed upon us through other channels…?

Just between you and me, here’s the true hierarchy of birthday love for our social media age. See where you find yourself, and who knows, maybe this will even inspire you to find techealthier ways to express your birthday love.

10 Facebook Birthday Wishes

1. No Wall Wish

FB told me it’s your birthday but I don’t really know you. Wait, I’m not even sure we ever met. It’s taking too long to remember who you are. Maybe I should defriend you. Actually not on your birthday, it’s too cruel. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Or: I know who you are but the type of relationship we have or don’t have (we met at a work event and ignored each other at the next one? You had a crush on me and I don’t want to give you the wrong impression?) makes it impossible for me to congratulate you on your wall.

In a perfect world, all of our FB friends would be people whose birthdays we would like to acknowledge. Here’s a techealthiest goal for us all to strive for.

2. “HB”

I want to wish you a happy birthday but I don’t want to delude you. You see, I’m making it very clear. I can’t dedicate more than the time it takes me to type two letters. On second thought, I don’t even know why I’m acknowledging your birthday, but alas, it’s already posted. Oops.

If you find yourself HBing all over Facebook, you might as well choose the No Wall Wish.

3. “Happy Birthday!” (or !!!!) (or !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Clean and simple. I know who you are. I want you to know that I know it’s your birthday. Our relationship exists twice a year on our respective walls. We like each other enough to consciously add another number to each other’s birthday wall count but not enough to ever connect on any other level. If you break the code and write an actual wish on my birthday, I’m going to think you want to take this relationship to the next level, so just be aware of that.

It’s all good, people. I’m just calling a spade a spade, that’s all. Counting many wall wishes strokes our birthday ego, and I’m all for that. You are making someone say, “Oh, wow, he/she remembers me!”, and that is not a bad thing.

If I’m being generous with the exclamation points, it means I don’t want any further interactions with you, but I do want you to know that there’s still something about you that made me go the extra exclamation mile.

4. Happy Birthday, ____!

I’ll be honest. More than I care to admit, I find myself typing “Happy Birthday” based on a Facebook notification, which means I don’t necessarily bother to even check who you are. But look at me now, I’m including your name so you can rest assured that I took a moment to think of you and there is even a chance I would like to write something more elaborate but I either have no time right now or no gift for writing. Or both.

5. Happy Birthday with Emojis

Things are starting to warm up over here. I’m taking the time to be creative. At best, I would love to compose a heartfelt wish but I’m a terrible writer. At worst, I’m a talented emojier and I’d like to impress you with my skills, while making you smile on your birthday.

Either way, you are making someone smile on their birthday, and that’s a good thing. Bonus point if you decide to spruce it up with an effortless image or video you can find on various Facebook pages such as this one.

6. An Actual Wish on the Wall

I genuinely thought of a birthday wish. Whether I use the same generic wish on every wall or I’m crafting a unique one for you, I need you to know that you’re a special person, even if we never meet. You know what? Maybe we should meet sometime. Lunch?

Yes, lunch. Follow up with an invitation and you’ll find yourself climbing higher on the techealthiest ladder.

7. A PM Wish

I’m taking responsibility here, not to mention, a risk. Because who knows, maybe you will not respond, but let’s connect, for real. I can’t move any further because I don’t have your phone number.

Or- Hey, I’m special too! This is really about me. I’m coming to you through the back door so you can take a moment to think of me of me on your birthday. I want to stand out so I don’t end up as just another wish on the wall.

Self-absorbed or not, you are initiating a more digitally intimate moment. You’re bold. You have potential.

Equivalent to what’s rumored to soon be the new, easy way to post birthday videos on someone’s wall.

8. A Text

There you go. Moving on up, out of Facebook, one step closer to the real world. (Oh, but not the kind of text that sends an automatic Happy Birthday wish.)

Even if I only know about your birthday thanks to Facebook, I’m giving you the impression that I actually remembered. I like you and I genuinely want you to feel special today. Even if I only type Happy Birthday, it trumps a wall Happy Birthday. We are real friends and we even see each other face to face once in a while but life is too busy to take more time than a text.

You are so close to human touch, you should be proud.

9. An Email

We are getting close to the most intimate expression of birthday love. It’s the equivalent of an actual letter. Also, it’s never just a two-word Happy Birthday. When you send a birthday email, it’s guaranteed to have more depth and colors than a text. You take more time. You pay attention. You’re invested. You not only like the person, you love them. You’re using heavy duty, prehistorical means to express your love and appreciation.

10. A Phone Call

Congratulations! If you still call people who are not close family on their birthday, you are a rare but techealthiest creature. No one has time or patience to talk on the phone anymore, so when you use your voice to wish someone a happy birthday, it’s your way to let them know they are at the top of your list.

I hope the above list can help you make more mindful decisions when you want or don’t want to wish someone a happy birthday.