Will Facebook’s New “See Less” Option Promote More Google Stalking?
The digital breakup just got a bit easier to handle…thanks to Facebook.
A new set of tools for digitally distancing yourself from your romantic partners of the recent and distant past were rolled out today.
If you change your relationship status, Facebook will now give you the option to “see less of” your ex.
The New Changes to Facebook that Save You Anguish
If you agree to see less, you won’t have to worry about:
- blocking your ex
- unfollowing your ex
- choosing your ex from a list of suggested friends to tag
- seeing your ex’s posts
- having your ex see your posts
- being prompted to auto-message your ex
….plus other changes not listed here.
Hiding Your Ex to Heal
There is great value in being able to cut off all digital reminders of your relationship when you’re trying to move on. Essentially, it grants you a sense of choice and control, which is helpful during the healing process, especially if you’re the recipient of the breakup, as opposed to the initiator.
Generally speaking, people like to feel a sense of control with regard to how their relationship ended.
So when you hide your ex from your Facebook experience, the intrusive reminders will no longer jump out at you, unless you’re digitally connected on another platform, like Instagram or Pinterest.
Two Biggest Digital Challenges Following a Breakup
Thanks to social media, it’s become harder to move on from your past when you’re constantly reminded, against your will, of your ex. This is one of two seemingly impossible challenges to dating and divorce in the digital era.
The other challenge is the need to digitally stalk your ex. So many people do this. It’s hard not to when you’re hurt, or curious, or feeling emotionally weak.
It’s just too easy to become your own private digital investigator and gain information about your ex through Google and social media.
For some people, occasional Google stalking can be helpful for accepting the end of a relationship, especially when healing is already in progress. Occasional Google stalking can only be healthy to the extent that you are trying to gain a sense of mastery and acceptance of the end of a relationship.
But make no mistake about it, when a breakup is fresh, online stalking can be self-destructive and downright depressing.
Some people will seek confirmation that their ex is in a worse state of existence than they are. Digital stalking can also be motivated by a fear that an ex has moved on to a new relationship or is thriving in some other way.
At any rate, the new Facebook “see less” feature will help people take control of their healing process. Sometimes, though, too much control over reminders of the breakup can delay moving on.
The value of the “see less” option will vary from person to person, since it depends on how we tend to acknowledge the end of a meaningful relationship.
Therefore, there is a part of me that is mixed about this new feature.
Why? Because for some people who rely a lot on denial to get through tough times, a bunch of reminders of the end can stimulate healing.
The truth is that mild reminders of the end can be helpful for moving on so that denial (the Nile) stays as a river in Egypt…corny I know but breakups suck, so I hope this info and the new Facebook function are helpful.
