In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to offer you some relationship advice in the form of two love quotes and the priceless lessons they teach us.
I strive to live by these quotes. Given their power to enhance romantic love, I feel inspired to share them with you.
Choose to apply this advice to your relationship and you just might find yourself feeling an elevated sense of love and connection toward your significant other.
2 Superb Love Quotes That Contain Phenomenal Relationship Advice
The following love quotes can add something wonderful to your relationship if put them into action:
Love Quote #1
Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
When two people are wholeheartedly committed to each other’s happiness both in language and in action, the sky is the limit for how high the love can take them. It’s a win-win situation.
And what an amazing feeling it is to sense this extreme commitment from your partner. This mentality doesn’t come naturally for a lot of people. In fact, once infatuation begins to wear off, the motivation to hyper-invest in your partner’s needs is at risk of decreasing. Therefore, this mindset must be put into practice early and often in order to eventually make it automatic.
It will come naturally when it’s cultivated over time.
Make decisions based on your partner’s happiness, even if it feels like you’re taking one for the team.
Recognize that your happiness depends on your significant other feeling this type of love and commitment from you.
Love Quote #2
Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’ -Erich Fromm
Don’t mistake an unhealthy state of need for true love.
How do you distinguish healthy from unhealthy relationship needs?
We all have unfulfilled childhood needs that either subtly or not-so-subtly impact our romantic love. There’s no way around this.
It’s becomes a relationship problem when these needs dominate. Two tell-tale signs of unhealthy needs wreaking havoc on a relationship are:
- When one partner’s needs cannot be fulfilled no matter how much “love” is given. It’s a black hole that can’t be filled for more than a few hours
- When someone is placed in a catch-22 as a result of his or her partner’s needs. There’s a sense of being “stuck” or “screwed” no matter how you satisfy your partner’s underdeveloped psychological needs. (Neither of two conflicting options lead to a positive outcome.)
Mature love transcends unmet needs.
A mature form of love sounds and feels something like this:
- You love because you experience an enduring respect for him or her (AND at least to some extent for yourself).
- You adore him or her beyond what infatuation leads you to feel.
- You’re willing lose the boundary between you and your mate because your mate has made it safe to do so.
- You don’t pay a price for allowing your love to make you vulnerable.
- You feel spiritually complete with him or her as your partner for life.
- You want to be a better person because your partner inspires you.
- You love him or her because of the person that he or she is, not what he does for you that numbs past emotional pain.
- You need because your partner becomes your lifeline and you can’t imagine life—let alone a day—without him or her.
The idea of “needing” your significant other is a tricky one. When the love remains strong over the years, there IS a healthy sense of need that develops. It’s as though your lives become inextricably intertwined and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
On the unhealthy side of need, there is a state of dependency in which one partner gains from the other partner’s weaknesses.
For example, Jane is afraid to be alone. She fears that her husband Jim will abandon her. Jim takes advantage of her dependent state of need by mistreating her, focusing too much on his own needs and failing to invest properly in her happiness (see the previous love quote).
Strive to develop your love into a mature love by committing to your own personal growth AND to your partner’s personal growth (again referring back to love quote #1).
Only good things for the relationship will grow out of this commitment.
Click here for more on the importance of committing to personal growth.
Sources:
More on the Catch 22 Scenario in Relationships
